The Gospel According To A
Sourdough
1. Thou shalt not wander through bear
country with bacon breath, or with anyone who can run faster than you.
2. Thou shalt not practice deep breathing
while in the outhouse.
3. Thou shalt not linger outside,
half-naked, during mosquito season.
4. Thou shalt not pan for gold in another
man's sluice box.
5. Thou shalt not try to take the antlers
off a moose without his permission.
6. Thou shalt not build a roaring fire
inside your igloo.
7. Thou shalt not swipe your neighbor's
smoked salmon.
8. Thou shalt not bite off more whale
blubber than you can chew.
9. Thou shalt not delay cutting firewood
til you are shivering, and if you do, don't covet your neighbor's woodpile.
10. Thou shalt not neglect warm clothing to
ward off frostbite.
11. Thou shalt not seek a bear hug from a
grizzly bear.
12. Thou shalt not attempt to walk on water,
unless it's frozen.
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